Horror ,and not free May 14, 2009

chapter 23:        Now I am dam pleased ,because at last my people shall I say my men are not acting coward like they  are not acting like little women anymore. And to prove that to you I will say that we did burn the christian church to shrines. For several days after the burning  me,and the men of the village took extreme precaucion,and we walked armed determined not to be caught by the messengers and end up just as Abame. I mean they had done something bad to us so we did something bad to them in return. It was just an eye for an eye,and a tooth for a tooth. I guess that’s how it is going to be from now on.

                   We had a meeting in the headquaters,and honestly I was hoping that one of the good,and manly people that I admired would be reasonable and pardon us. And if they decided not to,then we will not care like I said before we were determined to set our ground. What ever happened today we will still stand together like the tribe that we really are. I’ll rather suffer for my village,culture ,religion,and customs than stay arms crossed and do nothing.  Smith went to the commissioner to snitch. Then some messengers were send over to  the headquaters to face us. I swear I was so mad because people kind of  looked afraid!!

            God! me and five other leaders waited to be attended by the commissioner. Waiting at that moment seemed like an eternity to all of us. Well it was just me and five other men,but we were speaking on behalf of all the other faithful Ibo people. I was full of joy to actually have some of my faithful men standing there. Call me CRAZY,and WOMENLY but I had hope at this moment.

        Dam all that hope was crushed,and  blown away because the stupid messengers graved us like any other unimportant creature,and threw us in jail. WE WERE IMPRISONED! God this was much worse than the seven years I was in exile. We were trapped with no chances of escaping. We were waiting there several days until the tribe payed the ransom wich was two hundred cowries for the release. The corrupt court messengers who guarded me,and my five men, demanded the ransom not only kept the us  without food or facilities to relieve ourselves, but they also whipped us with so much passion and strength and increased the ransom to two hundred and fifty cowries so that they could receive a share of the money! Don’t they deserve for me to get revenge upon them? you be the  judge,and right that I should kill them for doing this? They have made things fall apart once again!

Really falling apart May 14, 2009

chapter 22:       Well I guess it was weird that a toughtfull man like Mr.Brown had  left. But like th eIbo people had always said when a lizard,lost its tail it soon grew another. It was the same with the white men. When Mr.Brown left Mr.Smith came to Umofia to replace Mr.Brown. This man was the toltal opposite of Mr.Brown,and that got to me because Now I realized how nice he actually was. He encouraged the zealots of the church to act out against the pagan tribe. It was this encouragement that brought about a great conflict between the church and the tribe. I honestly thought this was so out of order,and it was this encouragement that brought about a great conflict between the church and the tribe.

                        I don’t even know how to explain myself anymore because i’ve been saying latetly that things have been falling apart,but they are getting worse everyday,and it’s not even funny anymore. Now I am really getting serious about thins. My fury is so inmense that I would kill any one who crossed my ground. There was this man named Enoch. He was described as a fanatic christian, and a son of a tribal spiritual leader. I HATE HIM! He unmasked one of an egwugwu in public, which was a great crime and insult against the ancestral spirits. That was so unhuman for him to do. He had dishonored me in a way were he also dishonored the entire Ibo people. Now I felt the enire fury of my village in my spine,and we were ready to kill!

                  Because of this terrible moment that happened the tribe,and me  were determined that Enoch had to die, and when they went to kill him, they found that Mr. Smith was protecting him in the name of the Christian church.  That was incredibly pathetic to me. And I know that  my village,and I will not stand there without doing anything we  were getting vengance. Nobody had ever disrespected our tribe like that. I mean we all knew how important egwugwu was. egwugwu were Men who disguise themselves as the ancestral spirits of the village and judge disputes among the villages. There are nine egwugwu, one for each of the nine villages started by the sons of the father of the clan long ago.

             To seek our revenge we did something evil yet  hevily for us. We burned that church down to ashes,and we were actually glad we did it because people do anything for thier own people,and noone should disrespect the people’s culture because you should then expect that person to snap.

Destruction in the clan May 13, 2009

Chapter 21:       I observed every day,and the corruption grew enormously. I saw the destruction in the clan,and who was to blame? Well ofcourse the white men are the source of  it,but the dam tribe didn’t agree. I don’t even know why they appreciated the introduction of the trading store,and they had no problems with the christians. Although I should give props to Mr.Brown because he worked to keep his converts from provoking the villagers. He was a weird man because he wanted to learn more about our tribe. This was kind of suspicious to me though because I don’t know if he wanted to learn about us to harm us,or to respect us. 

                           Gods! He even built a school in Umofia. The purpose was to educate our children so they could become leaders of the villages. Rather than the white men rule them. To be honest I was actually  starting to think that Mr.Brown didn’t mean any harm,and that he was a nice man.  I kind of started to like thins man already. The thing that was devastating was that his health was deteriorating,and he had to leave Umofia. One of my pet peeves is when people try to persuade me to do something that I have already desided upon. Well the man who I was alredy starting to like made me hate him again. Well he came to my house before he left and told me to reconsider,and accept Nwoye. Nwoye had betrayed me and therefore he was a dishonor to me. I had to threaten Mr.Brown and I kicked him out.

             I was really disappointed that my return to my native village  had been insignificant to most other villagers. What is up with that? Why aren’t people noticing me? I let my daughters marry some worthy suitors,but noone had even noticed!  My  insignificance grated on me as much as the presence of the white men and the way that they unraveled the  Ibo society. 

       I now regreted arriving back to Umofia. Nothing was the same,and I saw no point in this blackhole. I shoul have stayed in my mother’s land,but then again it would’ve been the same thing. For example missionaries had already settled in,it wouldn’t take long before it became the same as Umofia,and Umofia wouldn’t take long before it became the same as Abame. These are horrible things to say about my Nigeria,but unfortunatlly they are true. Sad moments,but true. And excuse my language,but what pisses me off is that every man is acting like a woman!!!! Nothing is being done!

At last my home is at my hands! May 13, 2009

Chapter 20:              When I was in exile I remember all those men trying to get my daughters to marry them. Espicially Enzima. She had grown so beautiful,just like her mother. Also was my other daughter,but she wasn’t like Enzima,but I still loved them. I actually prefered Enzima over everyone else. She was my favorite,and for that I didn’t want her to marry over in Mbanta. My wish was that she will marry in my homeland Umofia. That would make me a proud parent.

           This was the last day,and before I knew it we were at Umofia already. It was so different,it had changed but I had a bad vive about it. It greatly changed,and I am still suprised about it. I am so dam sure it is because of the white man’s church. They are the one’s to blame they changed my native land. I don’t even feel at home any more. The issue that had hit my heart real hard was the fact that now even the men of status had been converted,and opressed out of their tribes,and titles.

           There was only one thing that made me happy out of all the B.S. That was that my daughters were actually following my advice,and they were getting married were I had wished they would.

           I noticed there was another person people murmured about he was so called the “District commissioner” This ridiculous man was a person who judged  the Ibo people,but the stupid thing was that he didn’t know anything about us. He didn’t know nothing about our religion,and how was that justice if he was judging with no reasonable ideas. The other ridiculous thing was that he also had court messengers who were like his little pets who hunted down the men who tried,and dragged them before the court. Well I hadn’t expirience anything like this YET, but Obierka told me all of this non sense.

       I said something my self and I admitt I think it was very wise of me to say. I am just stressed out sometimes I want to kill myself because I cannot stand observing my village be so womenlike. These are my powerful words.“‘The white man is very clever. He came quietly and peaceably with his religion. We were amused at his foolishness and allowed him to stay. Now he has won our brothers, and our clan can no longer act like one. He has put a knife on the things that held us together and we have fallen apart.’” Unfortunatlly we have fallen apart!!!!!!!

Home sweet Home May 8, 2009

        Chapter 19:    Were do I start It’s because I am so glad, I have no words to express my self. Well today is my seventh year in exile. This means I am free! I thought this day will never arrive,but now that it is here it is impossible to believe it is. I send some money to my good friend Obierka in Umofia in order for him to build a house for me and my soon to arrive family. I am happy I will return to my native land . I mean what human wouldn’t be proud to return to a land were he spend all his life in,and were he had a great life. Well atleast were he thought he did.

           I mean all i’ve really been thinking since I arrived to Mbanta was how to maintain my rank in Umofia  when I go back. I plan to buy the first in the rug of social titles for two of my sons when I return. Now I see my family happy because I am taking them back to our native land I am so grateful,but ofcourse I show no emotion. You know what I am going to say a secret. “I AM GETTING TIERED OF NOT SHOWING EMOTION OF MY FEELINGS.” I AM A MAN,BUT I AM ALSO HUMAN. 

        I actually held a feast before I left Mbanta. It was a great feast! The purpose of this feast was to thank the kinsmen of the village for their great,amazing,awesome hospitality. I really am going to miss this place,but not the church part though. I gave them a brief description of my expirience in Mbanta during my time in exile. I had a great time I remember when the children helped me with the farm. I am glad people over here received me I mean a man rarely goes to his mothers homeland. And I strongly recommened you men start doinng it. Because you never know what horrible things may happen to you without you even seeing it coming. And I tell you this from expirience.

        Well as soon as the ceremony started I greeted everyone,and of course we ate,and drank wine. I felt as good as new. One of the elders stood up front in the center of every one. He started to speek off topic. The speech was about the danger that this newq religion was putting upon us. This religion posed to their clan because it made it possible for sons to separate for their fathers,and break the traditions our culture had established. That was so true. As a matter of fact these missionaries were making me hate religion!!!!!!!! I was starting to hate Religion because of them!!!!! And to make it even worse my son Nwoye was with them now. I don’t even know if I should call him my son anymore!

The church May 8, 2009

     chapter 18:         I am a monster inside. I feel like all my culture will soon decline. I don’t show emotion because I am Okonkwo the powerful,and the vigilant. The fact that the people of the church went into the village,and proclaimed that our Gods were impotent,and dead,also they threaten to burn their shrines. That really got to me. That made us beat them up,and they were forced to live. I wouldn’t mind killing them. The relationship of the village,and the church went back to “peace” for a while.

   Mean while we learned that  the white men were determined,and we wouldn’t be able to stop them from introducing their religion. This was starting to get on my last nerve. I heared that thay had hung  a man because he had killed a missionary? Why were these missionaries so important? Luckily it wasn’t that insane here in Mbanta Mr.Kiaga will not  allow it,and he wasn’t a threat at all.

       It was funny when the Mbanta church first faced the issue of recieving outcasts. I mean no offense,because I consider myself an aoutcast of somekind. I was rejected from my home village so I guess that fits the category. The members of the church still believed that the outcasts didn’t belong. They thought that christianity should not be offered fo them. This was great for me. I was happy that they were having problems. Not because I am mean,but because they deserve it. Mr.Kiaga had to mess everything up though.

            What really consered me was that twins were being exepted too. What in the world was occuring? This was social suicide!!!! Two of the village outcasts joined the church,and then they were followed by the rest of the outcasts. One of the worst things happened the folowing week,and I admitt I was happy,but mad at the same time. The reason why I was happy was one of the outcasts had killed the sacred python,and he had creathed conflict between the elders of Mbanta,and the church. I was mad because the python was very sacret to us. This moment was very desisive because now we had to choose the fun part.The punishment!!!!

         The elders and rulers of the village met to determine the punishment for such disgrace, andI myself was disgusted to see that the men of  Mbanta were so womanish that they would not declare war against the Christians. Instead, the Christians were  altogether and were aware  from Mbanta and all its activitivities.  The next day was one of the best days of my life The man accused of the crime fell ill,and died! He died! you know what this means? This means our Gods punished him. Our Gods are still alive!!!!!!We are still powerful,and we will not give up to those stupid “white men” with their little myths!!!!!!

Were are our Gods? May 8, 2009

   chapter 17:        I now recall that some missionaries gathered together and asked the elders of Mbanta about the land structure. They wanted to know were they would be able to build a church. It was hilarious to see the elders being a little evil and making an evil plan. Their plan was to tell the missionaries that there was land abeilable,on the evil forest. They provided them with this space expecting the evil forest to finish them off. Everyone including me waited very patiently. I mean i had never been this patient in my life! Well we waited for the Gods to take their vengance against the missionaries. I was starting to worry because time passed,and nothing happened to the church int the forest! What in the world was going on with the Gods? Hello is anyone there? I asked the “GODS”

          Well the next week the white men who had arrived with the missionaries; left back to Umofia to build a school to educate the natives,and left Mr.Kiaga in charge of the Mbanta church. Altough Nwoye was very curious about christianity he was very careful. He was slick, or atleat he tought he was. I tried not to make it obvious because he knew I would be furious. The next day one of the kinsmen came in my hut in a hurry. He said he had spotted Nwoye near the church. When he told me this I didn’t react,and I wasn’t mad. I was so FURIOUS that’s what I was. I was getting tiered of this character!

        I stood still and remained silence. As soon as I heard some foot steps I prepared my strong muscles that I still had. Nwoye walked in the front door,and he received the hardest beating he had,and will ever expirience. I mean don’t get me wrong I did feel bad deep inside,It was hurting me to hurt him. But if you allow behavior like this to occure they will surely turn on you. Fathers must always have a strong hand on their sons that’s my advise.

       Now the fact that Nwoye ran off,and went with the christians got me so so so so so so so ,mad. That was unforgiveable. He went to work in the school of Umofia, and he had dishonored me. Why did my son have to be so womenly?!? That’s  the question I always ask. Now this stupid religion issue is getting me even more stressed out!

    CHI, why have you turned against me!!!!!! First the exile, and now the betayal of my son CHI I am cursed!!!!!!!!!

So stressed out. May 8, 2009

 chapter 16:        Ohhh my Gods it has been two years. ONLY TWO. This is honestly like an eternity. Obierka came to visit me,and i was so glad to see him. I mean I don’t really see him.  He told me some crusial news”the missionaries have alredy come to Umofia” he said. But those were not the worse news yet,what was to come was even worse he said that he had seen Nwoye  my oldest son amongs those pathetic missionaries who’s only job was to brain wash the dam people of the villages. I am extremely positive that the clan leaders were so devastated,and sad because of the presence of the  new religion. I bet they all believed that it will fade away just nby the time.

           After that six missionaries arrived suprisingly to our villige  Mbanta. And the awful thing was that there was a white man amongs them. I was so disgusted I wanted to vomit on the white mans face he gave me the goosebumps, not that I was a coward,but he gave me a bad feeling,and I knew he wasn’t here for any good. He had that devilish face. With the help of this little ugly man Mr.Kiaga who was a translator,but claimed to be Ibo himself mentioned something about one true God. we all stood there spaced out because we had no idea what they were talking about. Even I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to fight him. I was anxious to hit one of those little two-faced preachers,who talked about this so called one true God!

         I was so angry when he said we were so naive because we shouldn’t worship anyother Gods. I wasn’t going to let no nasty,little preachers, tell me what or what not to believe in. I’ll send my Gods after them. Then I took a deep breath,and listened. All of a sudden I started questioning. Who are these men? Should i follow my incstincts, or should I stick with the Mbanta,and Ibo culture? You know what I am sticking with my culture! why? Because i’ve been living like this for a long time,and nobody had bothered any of us before. Maybe this is all a big bluff,and the Gods are just testing us to see who is a true Ibo!

          To be completely honest I kept my ming on Nwoye he was turning his back on me,and maybe even his back on everyone else in his family. I made a mad face and one of the missionaries caught my eye. At that percise moment they started singing a song this song was akward,but it answered alot of my questions. these songs were harmonic.

Hey Nigeria May 1, 2009

 chapter 15:         It seems like a decade, but it has only been a year. This is my second year in exile . Every minute seems like an hour, every day seems like a month, and every month seems like a year. Being here away from my homeland village is stressful. I am not going to lie, even though I was thrown out they had a reason too. But I am also having a great time in Mbanta, I have accomodated to this different environment,but I’ve learned the hard way. I miss my old friends.

      Talking about old friends Obierka my very good friend from the village payed me a visit, and i was so gratefull to see him.  I had a huge smile on my face when I saw him,I don’t recall having these kind of emotions before, so I hid my smile as quick as possible. He came happ too,but he had some bad tragic news about the village of Abame . To be honest I was concerned about the following words that were going to come out of his mouth.  He said really slowly with a sad voice that only made me anxious. He started his story very normal and slow

    “One day a white man rode into the village on a bicycle, which the villagers called an “iron horse.” At first, the people ran away from the man, but the ones who were less fearful walked up to him and touched his white skin. The elders of Abame consulted their Oracle, which told them that the white man would destroy their clan, and others were on their way, coming like locusts. Confronting the villagers, the white man seemed only to repeat a word like “Mbaino,” perhaps the name of the village he was looking for. They killed the white man and tied his bicycle to their sacred tree.”

      This wasn’t as bad as I thought I mean don’t get me wrong the fact that they killed that white man without having any kind of information about him did get to my nerves. But then he continued his story by saying that another group of men gathered around in the village,and after they saw the bike they shot, and killed the entire village,and that now Abame was destroyed. This was shocking, I was speechless. It was here yesterday and gone today. It was akward that he mentiond “white natives” the only thing that came out to my head were those sayings I mean were those the so called collectors of slaves and the ones who were taking slaves over seas?????

Hello world! April 28, 2009

  chapter 14:       I am extremly glad my mother has accepted me back, although I must say I do feel a little embarrassed that I am back on my motherland. I never pictured myself coming back to Mbanta this village were i was actually welcomed, and not denied. I met Achendu my uncle, he was very welcoming himself. He didn’t even asked me why I had arrived without notice, I guesses he assumed, or somehow he knew in his consciousness. It was very important for me thatmy family and i got back on track because apperantly we didn’t have a farm. How was my family, and i going to create a farm if we didn’t have any resourses? I was very furious, but didn’t show emotion this time because i was trying not to cause another argument, we have many problems already for me to start another. But what is a man suppose to do when his children, and him must work hard to make this farm as soon as possible,and his children are lazzy?

           The truth of the matter is that I am furious, but mostly disappointed in my self. I didn’t achieve my goals. I hoped to become a clan in my village, and in a blink of an eye that dream fell apart accidentally. Why do bad things always happen to  me? First my dad (GOD)! Then my dishonoring my wife in the week of peace, then the death of Ikemefuna, then my little daughter getting sick, and now getting thrown out of my own village. What’s next?! 

         Well atleast I got rid of all those feelings of sorrow today while Uchendu held his akward marrige ritual to see if the bride of his son had been faithfull. It was fun to watch, and it got my mind away from all the depressing thoughts. I had never had one of those rituals with my wives. It is not a bad idea for a man to do this kind of celebrations to feel loved by his wife. My wives would never be unfaithfull to a great man like me, but then again I think I lost my rank because of that accidental action that occurred. The next day Uchendu gathered his children together, and told them a brief story about me and my despair. He questioned me and I admit i felt a little embarrassesed that i couldn’t answer the questions he asked me. But then again i felt glad because he made me understand why people should return to their motherland when the moment of bitterness occurres. He also pointed out that there are people in the world at this very moment that are suffering more than I am.